SLOVENIA'S 5 CORE VALUES

She was there, much to my chagrin. The confusion in my head was enormous. What now? Do I need to see a doctor?

A few days later, I was waiting in fear outside the doctor's surgery. The doctor was, of course, not impressed by what he saw and I was given an urgent referral and had to report to the Oncology Institute within 24 hours.Shock again... What oncology, eh? 

My heart was pounding as I crossed the threshold of the hospital. Suddenly the world stops and you become one with all the people who are there. Someone smiles at you, someone looks at the floor, some people sit perfectly still and silent, some have loved ones with them and chat. There is a special world out there that nobody wants to go into. A world we don't even want to hear about. And that's where I've come from, unfortunately. 

The hours of waiting dragged on endlessly. Old and young walked by. Some without hair, some with oxygen bombs... It is then that you realise how quickly we can lose the life we have been given. 

After the mammogram, I was sent home and scheduled for an ultrasound a few days later. Those days were difficult. I tried to divert my thoughts, but it was no use. 

I knew that the screening would be decisive. But then all that eternal positivity of mine failed. So I waited outside the ultrasound clinic, struggling alone with my black-eyed thoughts. 

At times I felt like I was going to cry. I am grateful that there are doctors out there who can help save lives. But that is all. I would be even more grateful if I never had to cross the threshold of that hospital again. But I know that I have no choice.

There was an elderly lady sitting opposite me. She was so calm, much calmer than me. She had that peaceful look on her face.

It was my turn for a quick check-up. I was examined by two doctors using ultrasound. I have to admit that I kept praying to myself that everything would be ok. Fortunately, they only found a few cysts, but they did not look suspicious. At a certain point, all the tension that had been building up over the previous days because of the fear of being ill eased. Suddenly, tears started streaming down my cheeks. And I couldn't stop them. Fortunately, the two doctors were very compassionate. They probably experience a lot during check-ups.

After the check-up, I went for a coffee to calm down. Then the lady who had been sitting opposite me in the waiting room came by. The lady with the peaceful expression on her face, waiting calmly for the examination. She came up to me and asked me how I was. I told her that I had been very worried about this examination for some time and that I had started to cry during the examination when they said that they could not see any suspicious changes.

I will always remember those words of hers: 'You must not allow yourself to be so stressed about this, otherwise you will really make yourself sick. I have been going for check-ups for 20 years, every year. And everything is always as it should be. Everything will be fine. Believe in it. Love yourself. If I believe in you, believe in you. A positive outlook on the world brings miracles. Don't be afraid of life. Look forward to it."

Grateful!!!

Live and accept life with gratitude and everything will be ok!

Maja Grošelj, 13. 2. 2025