We trust each other and work together. We respect people, whatever their differences, listen to different opinions and work together to find solutions. We value hard-working, professional and courageous people who are not afraid of change.

A community based on mutual trust is more successful. Mutual trust is the mutual belief that others are trustworthy and will act in accordance with agreed norms, values and expectations. This creates a sense of security and certainty that others will not abuse this trust, but will act honestly, responsibly and reliably.

Mutual trust does not mean unconditional trust in everyone, because a person who acts contrary to values cannot be trusted. However, building trust in a community is more successful when we trust a stranger the first time we meet them, and only if they prove to be trustworthy at every subsequent contact. 

Mutual respect means recognising the other's right to think differently. Respect does not lead to uniformity, but to listening to the arguments of those who think differently. It is by listening tolerantly to dissent that one can improve one's own thinking. This contributes to building the personality of all those who respect each other. When people respect each other and value each other's contributions, a positive environment is created in which trust grows. 

Why these two values are paired

Mutual trust and respect are fundamental values in a couple. They are like two sides of the same coin. Both values relate to the relationship. A relationship cannot exist without both. Trust allows me to open up to others and to believe in their good intentions, and respect ensures that I treat others as equals and worthy. Without trust there is no respect, without respect there is no trust.

What we imagine when we talk about a relationship: it could be between me and another person, it could be between me and society, or between me and my company where I work or the school where I teach.

Trust is more of an emotional valuebecause trust opens you up to others and you believe in their good intentions. Respect is a more rational valueas it includes recognition of dignity, rights and achievements of others, regardless of feelings.

Together, trust and respect balance heart and mind.

But it can also be attitude towards yourself.

Self-esteem involves trusting and respecting oneself, and is the foundation that conditions relationships with others. In fact, it is a key point for understanding and implementing fundamental values. If I trust my own abilities, decisions and values, it is easier to trust others because I am not afraid of vulnerability. Without self-confidence, I doubt myself, I am distrustful of my colleagues because my insecurities make me sceptical of others. If I value my worth, I set healthy boundaries and expect respect from others. This allows me to treat others as equals, without the need for domination or subordination. If I undervalue myself, I tolerate others' disrespect for me, while at the same time concealing my insecurities. by disrespecting others. For example: a student who trusts himself will be more likely to trust his classmates and respect their efforts, which builds harmony in the classroom.

Trust and respect, starting with ourselves, build bridges to others and to a society that we associate with our core values.

RESPECT

What does value mean RESPECT?

Some say that you can only respect someone who has earned respect through his or her past actions. Others say that they respect superiors in order to avoid trouble. Others equate respect and deference.

Different interpretations circulate on the concept of respect. Mutual respect, together with mutual trust, are the foundations for a healthy society in which people feel good, can be successful and do not feel uncomfortable if their ideology is not identical to that of the incumbent.

It is therefore important to be clear about what constitutes mutual respect and what role respectfulness plays in it.

Respect and respectfulness cannot be equated. Respect is value. Respectfulness is skill.

Value is a fundamental belief that defines what is important to us or to society. We value it and believe it is good for us and for society. A value serves as a compass for our actions and choices in life to do what we is right. When we act in accordance with the right values, we will not regret our actions and choices and will think of them with pride in old age.

Skills is a skill that can be learned, like learning to drive a car. Respect must be learned. From a young age, we learn expressions such as "please" and "thank you", we learn to behave nicely towards our elders, and, later in life, how to be polite to others.

Simply put:

• we carry the value (respect) in our hearts,
• We learn the skill (respectfulness) in order to be outwardly polite to others.

Respect

Respect includes respect for others. One must be Respectful to everyoneeven to someone who, because of his bad actions cannot respect.

You don't know a person who values respect by his respectfulness, you know him by his actions.

A typical example of how respect and deference do not have the same meaning is when dealing with a murderer in court. Judges have to be respectful of a murderer, even if they cannot be respectful of a truly evil one.

Respectfulness

The fundamental value of respect has two key meanings:

1. A feeling of admiration for someone's abilities, qualities or achievements. 

It is easy to admire people who have achieved something really important, whether they are people who have left a positive mark on humanity in the past or in the present (for example Galileo Galilei, France Prešeren, Nelson Mandela ... or people who, through their actions, set an example for us to follow. In respecting people close to us, we must avoid letting envy of an acquaintance's success prevent us from respecting that person.

2. Respect for the dignity of other people, including their feelings, wishes, rights and thoughts, even if they differ from our own. 

This has three distinct positive consequences:

• In a society where mutual respect prevails, people feel valued and therefore contribute positively to society.
• When we listen to others, we can enrich our own perspectives and build on our own knowledge through their views. 
• If the majority respects each other, there cannot be a strong division in society, a polarisation between people belonging to different ideologies; no ideology is absolutely correct, each ideology has its good and bad sides; by respecting each other respect, we can achieve a balance where we try to take into account the good sides of both ideologies.

The opposite of respect

Disrespect has many negative consequences for both society and the individual who disrespects others:

• The feeling that I know everything and therefore don't need to listen to others leads to self-isolation and conflict with those who think differently.
• If I reject out of hand the opinion of those I do not respect and do not think of extracting something good from a different opinion, I myself will regress, because others, more open to different opinions, will overtake me in my development.
• A group of people who respect each other gets better results faster than a group where just one individual who doesn't respect the others can seriously disrupt the work and spoil the team's results.
• Disrespect for others quickly turns to contempt and soon afterwards to intolerance and hatred of those who think differently.

Summary

Today, we are characterised by constant and rapid change, which is becoming increasingly difficult to adapt to.

People with strong values find it easier to sail through life, because values allow them to make better choices in important situations, because values give them a compass for the right direction.

People without solid values prefer to join those who spread their influence by talking a good talk and believe them without their own filter of values. This makes them easy prey for populists who spread hatred against those who think differently.

Mutual respect builds society, while disrespect tears it apart.

TRUST

Mistrust is widespread in Slovenia. This is especially evident when meeting a stranger for the first time, who is often doubted beforehand. For this reason, the value of mutual trust is something that is not acceptable to most. Unspoken thoughts such as "If I trust everyone I meet, how do I know they won't cheat me? Why should I trust first, let him trust me first, because I am trustworthy."

Reciprocity

When we talk about the value of mutual trust, we do not mean unconditional trust towards all people; that is, including someone who has just violated our trust. It is about trust when meeting a stranger for the first time. Any subsequent relationship towards the same person should be based on that person's response to us. If that person does not trust us in response, then there is no point in continuing to trust them. At the same time, we should not harbour resentment; if at some point in the future the same person expresses trust in us, we should trust him or her. We should reciprocate that trust.

The evolution of cooperation

One of the key books on trust and cooperation is Robert Axelrod's book The Evolution of Cooperation. Axelrod showed through computer tournaments and theoretical analysis that a simple strategy to start with trust (cooperation) and then reciprocate in the same way as the opponent - promotes mutual benefit. This means that trust does not depend on altruism, but on the selfish expectation that trust (cooperation) will be rewarded.

The book also shows that cooperation, based on trust in the first move, is a natural process of evolution, both in humans and in nature.

What's in it for a person to trust someone they meet for the first time? A positive relationship is instantly established between them. Most people want others to accept them as positive and to be grateful for their trust, but only rarely do we encounter people who want to abuse trust. When trust is established, the conversation between the two becomes more fluid and open. A positive relationship is established between the two, which will remain in both their memories even when they may meet again. In this day and age of so many people-to-people contact, the likelihood of meeting the same person again is very high. In such an atmosphere, I don't have to think all the time about what I get if I trust or even help. The circle of people I meet in my life is constantly growing. And it is amazing what invisible capital is gained by a person who trusts others from the very first contact. Most people who meet him think well of him and are happy to help when needed.

At the same time, people who are afraid of trust, or who consciously create mistrust, do not gain invisible human capital in the long run. They may even look successful in the short term, but sooner or later their glamour and influence fade and such people end up revolving in a small circle of like-minded people.

In English, this model of dealing with an opponent is called "TIT FOR TAT". In Slovene, this would be translated most closely as "As you are to me, so I am to you", but this expression has an undertone of revenge. When the value of of mutual respect and trust in our society, I believe that the undertone of revenge will be replaced by an undertone of reciprocity.

Revenge is always a negative attitude, while reciprocity is a neutral attitude. In reciprocity, we can also exchange positive responses, which encourages us to elevate our relationships for mutual benefit. In reciprocity it is only negative reactions that pull us downwards.

The impact of trust (cooperation) on society

In a society where mutual trust is prevalent, most responses to the first trust will also be trust. Individuals who wish to abuse this first trust will be punished in the next step, when the attitude of the majority towards them will be will also be negative.

It is important to stress that the resentment that a person has ever mistrusted us should not remain in our memory. As soon as such a person approaches us with trust, we respond with trust, regardless of our history of contact.

The success of societies where the majority of individuals are satisfied is influenced by the presence of mutual trust, which leads to cooperation.

The Evolution of Cooperation has another important message. In groups where contact is very frequent, and therefore one is likely to meet the same person more than once, the proportion of people who trust each other and work together is continuously increases without external pressure. People who trust each other are more successful than those who do not. This is why more and more individuals model the behaviour of the successful.

A society with a high degree of mutual trust and cooperation cannot be overcome by a group of people who do not share trust and cooperation.

At the same time, it is interesting to note that a society in which mutual distrust is high can be overcome by a group of people who trust and cooperate with each other.

Summary 

Mutual trust is at the heart of positive action. It gives individuals the courage to take risks, to learn and to grow. When you trust your fellow human being, you open the door to a win-win collaboration. For society, trust is the glue that binds - it builds harmony, encourages helps and creates communities where everyone progresses and feels worthy.